Sermon on Love.

Wednesday, June 2, I preached a sermon at New Life Youth. Here's what I said during it for those of you who missed out:

The whole time I was preparing for this message, I was completely afraid. But the night before as I was looking over everything, the Holy Spirit urged me to read further into a piece of Scripture I had chosen which was 1 John 4:7-21 and it reads:

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us. 13 We know that we live in Him and He is us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in Him and He in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17 In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement, because in this world we are like Him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19 We love because He first loved us. 20 If anyone says "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love His brother.

After I read that, I knew I had nothing to fear because in verse 18 it said there is no fear in love. And God is love. God lives in me. He lives in you... and He loves each of us, unconditionally. Since God so loved us, we also ought to love each other. And it's asked of us... In Mark 12:30-31 it says 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31 The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. Jesus emphatically stated that loving your neighbor is second only to loving God.

So who is your neighbor? It's not just the people sitting next to you, or behind you, that live next door to you, or sit next to you in class. It's every single person that you come into contact with every day.

If we love the Lord God with all our heart, soul and mind, loving our neighbor is the natural result. So how come if we love God, is this such a struggle sometimes? I think the secret in this is to recognize that our neighbor, no matter if we like them as a person or not, is just as worthy of God's love as you or I.

If you really love your neighbor, the first thing you will do is pray for them. As humans we are limited to how much we can help someone else, but God is limitless.

The Bible encourages us in Luke 10:37 to "go and do like-wise." To act as the Good Samaritan did. We are taught to help others in need, not because we feel an obligation to, and not because we expect some type of karmic reward. The reason we help others is because our hearts are supposed to be filled with the same unconditional love for mankind that God maintains. This isn't to say that we could ever entirely mirror God since we are only human. However, we are told to strive to act as Jesus would act even though perfection is unattainable. Continuing to strive for perfection, even knowing that it can never be obtained here on earth, shows God that we aren't seeking rewards for our actions, we're merely seeking to do what is right.

Being a good Christian is about being kind and compassionate to others, not about judging or rejecting someone based off their religion beliefs, culture, or color of their skin. The parable of the Good Samaritan is evidence that God wants us to place compassion above self-interest at all costs.

The one thing I want to leave you with, is the challenge to take loving your neighbor, and go out and live it as it is commanded of us.

Notions of Non-Believers & Faith of Followers.

I've come to learn through talking with non-believers the reasons why they don't believe in God, and I truthfully have to say that it makes me terribly sad. Some have said that when they tried living "religiously" and for God that they weren't happy, and when they began living for themselves that's when they became happiest. But you see, that's exactly what will happen. Satan has taken their life and given them what they want, just to try to trick them into thinking that "they don't need God." And the sad thing is, they believe it. But these people still live with a void inside of them, and they turn to drugs, sex, or other forms of addiction in order to fill it... when really it is only Him that can. One big reason I've heard a lot that they don't like religion is because of the radical Christians who try to ram it down their throats, bash their lifestyle, or are just completely hypocritical. The wolves in sheep's clothing. That in itself makes me terribly sad, that there are people out there that do that to so many and don't even realize half the time they're doing it. But despite it all, God decided to give us free will to chose to love Him and live for Him or not in the first place, and regardless of who we may meet or the things we may hear others say. If He didn't and we all loved Him, it would be a forced love... an empty love. And that's not real love.

I guess I can understand a little coming from a home myself where I wasn't raised to believe in God how it could sometimes be hard to believe in something that you can't see or anything

along those lines. But if you really look, you will see His spirit move. If you simply look at the things around you on this Earth, you see God and His creations. You don't need to see air to know that it's there... you can feel it when you breathe... when there is a slight breeze that brushes your skin. God is the same. You may not be able to see Him, but when you let Him in-breathe Him in- you can feel Him, and just like your lungs are filled, you are filled. With His love, His joy, His peace... that void we are all born with becomes whole.

"I have not seen Heaven, I haven't seen your face, but I've seen your spirit move." - "Fame" (Rush of Fools)

Conflictions.

Life can be so confusing at times... and even the use of prayer doesn't always get you out of that hole. I finally opened my heart back up and let a new boy in... only for him to no longer have those feelings towards me. He said God told him that his purpose in my life is to be my friend... the final push towards God. And he was. How can I argue with something like that... with a higher power? The only thing I don't understand is why I was being led towards him over and over while he was being led away. I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason and if it's meant to work out someday than it will. But the feelings for him have gotten worse, and we keep changing... barely texting throughout the day, slight awkwardness when we hang out...

I feel so conflicted lately not only with how I feel about him when I know that I shouldn't, but also with the situation I am in. I try to accept it, but I can't. My heart yearns for him, when I

know that it shouldn't. I am stuck in the same familiar feeling of a relationship ending, though ours never even got to be.

I know I just have to keep pressing in with my faith and pursuing God, for everything He does is for the good of us. I'm not sure why the feelings for Blake have gotten deeper instead of shallower as I have been praying for, but I know in time everything will work out how it should. Prayer would be greatly appreciated for me to help get me through this.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him." - Romans 8:28

Testimony of Hope & Healing.

I grew up in a home where I wasn’t raised to know Jesus… I didn’t go to church, we didn’t pray before our meals or before we went to bed, and there wasn’t a Bible in my home. I always believed there was a God, but I never had a real relationship with Him, and that was because I simply didn’t know how.
I believe everything, both good and bad, happens for a reason. I also believe those things that are bad also lead to something good. When I was fifteen years old, someone took advantage of me and manipulated me. Eventually my parents found out, and they decided it’d be good for me to go to a Christian school (Post Falls Christian Academy) where I could learn to “be good.” I have to say, that was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
God first touched my heart at the retreat the school had right before the school year began. Pastor Caleb was none other than the one who spoke that night during worship. God spoke right through Him to me the very thing I needed to hear and I started bawling. That was the first time I had gotten the smallest taste of what life knowing God was like.
The past few years, I have gone to church by choice, but still never really got close enough to have a real relationship with God. Maybe I was afraid of that commitment? I am not too sure the reason why… I think a lot of it has to do with the fact I didn’t grow up in a Christian home… it makes it really hard to believe with all your heart in something you didn’t grow up being taught was real.
This past October someone very important came into my life. He has become my best friend, and I feel like in a way he saved me from the person I was becoming. This person is Blake Ridgewell. He has influenced me to be the better person I have always wanted to be and is just so uplifting and so amazing as a person. He is the one, in fact, who introduced me to the NLY.
I have been coming to the NLY since January 13th, and it has changed my life. I have become so addicted to going and with what God has been doing for me since I have started. The second time I went to NLY, I still had the burning doubt inside of me that none of it was true. Ever since I decided to become a Christian I struggled with that. So when they did the alter call that night, I went out the doors to the right and spoke with Debby Hanks, another amazing person I have met recently. She prayed for those feelings to go away, and sure enough the next time I came to NLY it was gone and hasn’t been back since.
Everyone I have met at NLY has welcomed me with open arms and been so caring, which is extremely important to me because I don’t have that many friends outside of NLY. Not many people I have met lately have been true and uplifting people you can share true friendship with. I don’t have my family to turn to whenever I want because they are constantly out of town doing business and I am left alone. Because of this, all of the people I have met through New Life Youth are held in the dearest place of my heart and I am so thankful for every one.
This last week in particular God has really been doing great changes in my life. On February 10th, he used a girl a few years younger than me who happened to have the same name as me to tell me the exact words I had been praying to hear that entire night. On February 13th, my back pains associated with my scoliosis started acting up to the point where I couldn’t move my right arm without a sharp pain firing down my shoulder-blade. Blake asked to pray for me, and I kept praying for healing the next few days. On the 16th I went to my physical therapy appointment, as I have always been the past 5 months, and told my therapist about the pain I had experienced on Saturday, and that I didn’t feel it that day. He checked everything and said that my shoulders, neck, hips, and back were all completely in alignment and he had no explanation as to why everything was perfect after the pain I described to him. But I had one. It was all thanks to God and the amazing abilities of prayer. Just as I was finishing up physical therapy, Blake randomly thought of the pain I was in, and a peace washed over him. Right after that, I texted him and told him I had good news. I called him and told him that I had been discharged from physical therapy and don’t have to go back anymore. It’s been 2 days since my appointment and I still feel better than I have since I discovered I have scoliosis over a year ago.
Yesterday, Hannah Goodwin, Kayla Blythe and Hannah Billick all prayed for me to experience joy with God, and the Holy Spirit that is inside me since I had never experienced it as they have. Last night at NLY during the alter call I felt so unbelievably joyful inside, like I was overflowing with it, drunk off of laughter. I looked around me and saw others weren’t experiencing that same thing, but rather tears of sadness. So I closed my eyes and began to pray that everyone would have smiles on their face, be laughing and dancing… and when I finally opened my eyes again I saw just that, which just made the joy flow from me even more.
I am sure there are those of you who weren’t raised in a Christian home. You had to seek God out for yourself… maybe you haven’t fully found Him or have that nagging feeling of doubt. But if you open your heart up, amazing things will begin to happen. Don’t be afraid to ask for prayer, or guidance from a friend. No matter what you may be thinking, or the things you may choose to do, God won’t stop seeking your heart. I have come to realize this over the past few weeks that He has been with me all along and always will be. God loves each of us unconditionally, and there is no greater thing. Wherever you may be on your journey with Him, don’t lose sight of that.

Behold, I will bring health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth. -- Jeremiah 33:6

The Happiness Project.

I recently read a book about a project the author did for herself called The Happiness Project. In it she had made some commandments to try to live by everyday. Feeling inspired, I created some of my own. There are 50 altogether. Hopefully posting them up somewhere in my room will only continue to better myself as a person. Maybe this list will inspire you to make your own, and make little improvements in your life yourself. :)

Personal Commandments

1. Stay as mindful as possible in every moment.
2. Listen more.
3. Let go.
4. Create structure.
5. Smile.
6. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
7. I have the ultimate control over how I feel.
8. Remember what is important.
9. Don't compare myself to others.
10. It's okay to say no.
11. Don't complain.
12. Follow through.
13. Never settle.
14. Look for the best in others.
15. Live in the moment.
16. Think about what others might be going through and recognize it for what it's worth.
17. Wake up with a happy thought every morning.
18. Constantly better myself by learning new things and stepping out of my comfort zone.
19. Put God first in all I do.
20. Meditate or sit in silence once a day.
21. Go on walks alone to contemplate life and think.
22. Think of all the blessings you have despite a dilemma or rough/tough day.
23. Save money, stop spending on useless things.
24. Eat healthy 5 days... exercise at least 3. Drink more water and less soda.
25. Remember the person I once was before the wrong people entered my life.
26. Find something everyday to be happy about.
27. Try to pick out the good things in a situation, and less of the bad.
28. Volunteer more and give, with no expectations in return.
29. Keep organized and pick up.
30. Read, write and express creativity.
31. Engage in taking chances.
32. Hold relationships close and friendships closer.
33. Stay away from "toxic" unhealthy people in my life.
34. Pay close attention to studies and put them first.
35. Go enjoy local music or art at least once a week.
36. Get plenty of sleep.
37. Take time to pray everyday.
38. Don't take what you currently have for granted.
39. Be kind, be helpful, be sincere.
40. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.
41. It's not all about me. Think of others. Admit when I'm wrong.
42. Stop waiting for the world to change. Become the change.
43. Continue my spiritual and personal growth.
44. Lift up others daily with words - speak life not death.
45. Judge not, unless I want to be judged by the same standard.
46. Think and speak positively about everything- anything negative I say, people will associate that negative thing with myself.
47. Remember everyone is a human being with feelings... put those feelings first before you speak. Everyone is being the best they can be already. Give them some slack.
48. Finish what I start.
49. Learn to trust. Learn faith.
50. Be Kelly. :)
"Whoever is happy will make others happy too." - Anne Frank.

A Letter to Lost Love.

I sit here alone tonight... my mind traveling back to times we had. Loneliness aches deep within my soul. Life was so much easier the past few weeks when you had gone away... getting to taste how sweet life was without me no longer having to see you in it... When I see you, I can't help but want to touch your skin... embrace you as I used to. I have forgotten what that feels like. What it feels to have your hand upon my skin, that security, that love. You loved me once, didn't you? How is it that you could have so easily forgotten, when I sit here half a year later and still remember it as if it were yesterday. Your hands... how I wish I could entwine yours once again with mine... perfect pieces to a puzzle. Entwined just as our hearts were. But if there ever were to be an opportunity for me to experience what we had again, I would say no to it. For even though I love you, I know things would never be the same. After everything you have put me through after the past few months, there is no saving it. Our love died the moment "I can't do this anymore" escaped from your lips. I tasted it, as those words lingered in the air... felt our love's heart stop beating... It is the hardest thing for me to have to say we are over, as it is the last thing that I would ever want in this life. It's hard to admit it. But it's the truth. And true to myself I must be. Please forget me, lost love. Leave, and never return. I don't want to feel your presence anymore. It hurts too much to remember. I will always cherish memories of you...
- Kelly Ann

"All that we are is defined by each others' shipwrecked hearts..." - Jason Reeves ("Entwined")

l'espoir est le rêve d'une âme éveillée

l'espoir est le rêve d'une âme éveillée. Hope is the dream of a soul awake. My soul is finally waking up. It's wiping its eyes, letting the sunlight of a brand new day blanket it. The tearstains on my soul's pillowcase are fading... the ghost of them still there, just as the hurt still is inside, but it's not as bad. My soul has been awakened as it begins to embrace hope.
I have been blessed with a soul sister... one who shares the horrible pain I wish no other would ever have to endure. Neither one of us deserve it, and yet it's there. I am just thankful I am no longer alone in the healing. There has never been anyone else in my life that knows exactly what I am feeling. Sure, I have shared love and feelings of love... but hurt, it runs a lot deeper.
In 2 days, 2009 will come to it's end, and with it I am going to leave behind my sorrow, and my pain. I am going to embrace 2010 as my opportunity to be happy again. A fresh start. This life is my own, and that is how I am going to live it. And I have every intention of embracing my soul sister's hand, and taking her with me, and side by side we will awaken our souls, and find the light and happiness in our hearts we so deserve.


"Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles." - Samuel Smiles.