Where Once There Was Nothing.

Once again it's been a while since I've written... I thought maybe I should just to let all of you who occasionally read this to know that I am doing a lot better, and to not worry about my heart any longer. It has been saved as I have drawn closer with God, and I am still continuing to do so. Where once there was nothing, hope and love is filled. Now that I am doing a lot better, there is a lot of repairing I have to do in my life. To those I may have shunned in my own selfish attempt to save my feelings, to those I didn't lend an ear to when they needed someone in their own time of grief or suffering, and to those who I simply didn't give the time of day to. To you, I am deeply sorry. Nobody but myself will ever know the amount of suffering I went through over the past four months. Everyone loves differently in deeper ways, and everyone grieves over loss in different ways. But that is no excuse for the other pain I may have caused. I've gained friends, lost friends, made good decisions and bad decisions, but that's all a part of the journey of life.
It's been heavy on my heart lately to speak with a few people and to let them know my deepest regrets. Maybe it's too late. Maybe it isn't. I've been praying about what I should do, and some I feel I should speak to, so I will. If I am hurt in the process, I'll only learn from it.
Lately I feel like I have been called to help people less fortunate than I. I feel so selfish sitting around moping about little things that aren't better in my life, when not only could I fix it, but that there are people out there less fortunate than me. This Christmas I plan on donating to Operation Christmas Child, as well as other organizations like Light Gives Heat, to help those in other countries who need help the most.
There is a book I am reading by my favorite author Donald Miller called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It is about living your life to the fullest, and using the time you have wisely and making the most out of everything. I plan on applying all of it to my life. A lot of people have told me lately they've seen a change in me, and I am going to continue to change for the better.
To all of you reading this, I hope that it motivates you to do the same in your life. It's too short not to make things that are wrong right again in your heart. There is no knowing how much time we have here. Where once there may be nothing, there could be hope, happiness and love.


"I don't ever want to go back to believing life is meaningless. I know there are biochemical causes for some forms of depression, but I wish people who struggle against dark thoughts would risk their hopes on living a good story- by that I mean finding a team of people doing hard work for a noble cause and joining them. I think they'd be surprised how fast their sad thoughts would dissipate, if for no other reason they didn't have time to think about them anymore." -Donald Miller "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years."